We’ve all been upset at someone or because of something, but have you ever been upset or frustrated at an intangible force? Well, I have! And in my case it was God. Sometimes it seems like the things that I want never come to fruition even though I’m so close! I would literally do everything by the book. Yet, I still found myself asking the questions of why, when, and who? Particularly in regards to my romantic life or lack there of. I told myself that I would more than likely end up with someone who I really didn’t like that much, someone who I didn’t have chemistry with, and I would be forced to be with them because life seemed to throw at me those who were so interested in me, but when it came to them, I just lacked full interest. And no, I do not have a commitment issue. No, I do not want to be in lust. I am not used to dysfunctional relationships. Of course, we have all had our bad relationships, but I am now a perfect, emotionally healthy and healed woman. So, what was I to do?
Yes, I’m living single and honestly loving it (at times). But that doesn’t mean I still don’t have a desire to meet someone who I have a connection with who also has a connection with me. I would be so frustrated with God because when I did meet someone who was great and kind to me and who I liked and vice versa, life’s circumstances would not allow us or that relationship to prosper. God was just not playing fair at all!
I compared all the happy Instagram couples to my current status which made things worse. I was just upset and frustrated. Upset at the way things were going in my love life. So upset and frustrated to the point where I would cry — it doesn’t take much. Why were blissfully, intimate romantic friendships and partnerships happening for everyone else but me!?
I realized one thing after asking myself that question and it helped my spirit settle. I told myself that I can’t change the minds of men and I can’t change a single thing. All I can do is be the woman I am and everyday evolve into a better version of that woman. Additionally, I cannot and will not settle for that which I do not want. No, I won’t end up with someone who I lack the necessary chemistry with. I know in which the way my heart should be captured. I won’t end up being forced in an arranged marriage or with someone who I’m just not 100% certain about. No, I wont have a mediocre to okay relationship and mediocre to okay sex. I will have a great whole, complete and equal loving, fun, respectable relationship with the person who also feels the same about me.
Speak good things into the universe. Do not cloud your mind with worry and despair. Not only is it emotionally unhealthy but it’s false! We only end up with what we accept and BELIEVE. Think Law of Attraction here! The universe has a way of doing things just at the right time (whenever that may be!) but usually it’s unexpected. I decided that I would not settle. I would be faithful to myself and respect the time I have alone and speak into existence that which I desire and will receive! It may not be soon but it will be someday and when it does happen I will be sure and i will be happy. Words are powerful, so speak life!